Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
