Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
