You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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