if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
