He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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