he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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