you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
