I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize