i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize