great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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