her vagine was all disorganized.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize