I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
