69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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