They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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