I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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