Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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