Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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