I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I understand Curling. That high.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
