I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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