is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i will never coherently bang her
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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