It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
