is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
