PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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