If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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