He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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