can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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