Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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