Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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