you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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