Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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