Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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