good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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