so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize