david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
