girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
