my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize