It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My vagina just clenched in fear
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
