Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
