He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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