You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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