apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
