I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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