just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize