There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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