with your own penis?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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