I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
