talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
