How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I currently don't understand fingers.
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