you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize