I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
