we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
