why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
