I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
