it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My vagina just clenched in fear
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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