4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
