I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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