Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
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