I got chris browned last night
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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