Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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