god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
