I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
