So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
