At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Randomize
