In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
