hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
