obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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